The Ego Episodes

Friday, May. 27, 2005

Officially Graduating

Hi, y'all!

I'm glad to be back although I didn't leave, technically. I was just not in the writing mood as of late and when I do get in the mood, my mind gets dragged by waves of other concerns in my life, my current situation, that is: the fact that I am unemployed. Yes, folks, I am STILL looking for a job. Let's divert ourselves to other news!

We gave Tim a farewell party (but he's coming back to Singapore for convocation) weeks ago and it also doubled as a post-exam celebration. Our baon for him was a card (which I designed because I thought it would be more meaningful and personal that way) with written messages for him. He also gave me a card, which made me nostalgic and slightly misty-eyed. But all is not lost. We'll always find a way to keep in touch.

In other news, American Idol 4. Did you see it? Did you? DID YOU? I did! And I semi-organized a semi-party for it!

Last Wednesday, we watched the Bo vs. Carrie performance show at my tv lounge. I managed to cook two dishes for the event: my tried-and-tested-but-still-tastes-differently-each-time-I-cook-it spaghetti and stove-top macaroni and cheese. The spaghetti sauce was cooked two nights before so I only had to cook the pasta. The mac and cheese, however, was tricky. I had cornchild come over at 7 pm and basically appointed him to become my "sous-chef". He did a good job a) showing up on time, and b) slicing the cheeses like they're going to pass through quality control tests. There were only slight, if at all noticeable, differences in the sizes of the cheddar cheese cubes. So I told him, wow, but that's not necessary because it will all melt and turn into a gooey mixture.

Donny came to help out in the kitchen, too, and since he's the only one among us with a toaster (which he transported to my block's kitchen), he took the liberty of appointing himself the garlic-bread maker. I'm glad he did, because me? Not a good garlic-bread maker. I tend to become overzealous when it comes to spreading things (Meadowlea) on bread slices, so toasts become soggy (instead of, you know, toasted), not to mention I am utterly incompetent in keeping the thickness of the sliced bread constant.

By the time I finished cooking the elbow macaroni, it was already 8pm. At that point, I worried we wouldn't be able to finish cooking on time. So of course, I burned the bacon. Sigh. I had cooked roasts and pretty complicated dishes but just bacon? Burnt. Sigh. Anyway, I laughed it off as that is my favorite post-embarassing moment recovery maneuver.

8:25 pm, with barely five minutes before the show starts, Amras and cornchild were still mixing the dessert. After cheering them on (mainly, "Gogogogogo!"), we finished everything and hauled our asses off to the tv lounge just as the "uwauwahoo" theme song of American Idol came on.

Jussy, jaylo, jerome and evad were already there and for the next two hours, conversation (by which I meant, criticisms) ensued. There was also eating, yes, and epiphanies! After taking a bite of the garlic bread (of which I am a fan), I took a forkful of spaghetti and the second I tasted it, my eyes grew big and I blurted out, "Mmm!" Somehow, it tasted better when eaten with garlic bread. Donny had the same reaction and went on to say that it tasted like the spaghetti we had at Spagheddie's, an Italian restaurant at Paragon, aka, the best spaghetti I've tasted in Singapore and mind you, I have a high standard when it comes to this particular pasta dish. In other words, he gave me a compliment. SCORE! I couldn't help but pat myself in the back. On the other hand, the mac and cheese was so cheesy and sticky because I simply used too much cheese. But I saw everyone going for seconds and they finished it, so overall, it must be good! Donny even told me he's proud of me.

But honestly? The cheese sauce could use a lot of refinement. Sharp cheddar cheeses are bitter, but if you just use the non-bitter processed cheddar cheese, the sauce just falls flat. So I used both. However, it's still not that flavorful, even with the cheese overload. I'd have loved it if the sauce was less viscous. I wanted to use Cheez Whiz, but there was no stock at the grocery store. There was no time to search in other stores as I only did the shopping on the same day as the event, after my job interview. So we ended up with a flat, but otherwise, very cheesy sauce.

Speaking of flat, Bo and Carrie were. We were told that they're both sick. I'm guessing it's the stress. Anyway, Carrie won (yawn), confirming everyone's expectations. As long as Bo releases an album and continues performing, I'm fine with that. Besides, I'll always have that sucky original song "Long Long Road" to blame for Bo's loss. Our ears should be spared of such atrocity.

Again, in other news, I got my exam results, make that all my results in the last four years. I didn't get what I want but it's alright because my final year turned out to be my best year, even though I did a marathon of Desperate Housewives and journal entries. I thought I outdid myself in my last semester so kudos to me on that one. However, that does not mean I have to stop there. The experience of having gone through university taught me that I am certainly capable of achieving something if only I had put my heart and mind to it. Although I personally think I did a good job in my final year, it was too late to redeem my previous uninspired performance. But there's never a time for regrets. I don't believe in that. There's only one direction for me: forward. I could always do better. I haven't peaked yet.

This surge of confidence came partly from watching episodes of The Apprentice. I happen to browse a book called "How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci" at Popular and the first page I read stated this technique: Learn from your Anti-Role Models. Anti-role models are the opposite of role models. we know who they are: Rory Gilmore, Britney Spears, Wisteria Lane housewives, are some examples. Now, we all know how their actions led to dire consequences and watched them basically transform themselves into this horrific character we do not ever wish to be. So yeah, learn from those. By the same token, I watch The Apprentice mentally taking notes of the mistakes the contestants make every episode, and I love learning from Tana, among others. Aside from work ethics, I notice their communication skills. I learned that in interviews, you have to BE SPECIFIC with your answers. And the "uhms" really degrade your ability as a speaker more than you think. I think Kendra, young as she is, is an inspiration.

Right now I'm just waiting for any calls for an interview, while sending out 3 resumes on average, per day. I try not to sensationalize my problems in my head (I'm very adept at this) because I will only get depressed and depression leads to crying and crying leads to eye bags and sadly, not an award-winning literary work or song.

I'm trying to stay positive because if you don't believe in yourself, you are not going to be able to sell yourself to your potential employers. When you're looking for a job, the product and the salesperson are both you.

***

Movies I watched recently: Sin City (I liked it: the art, the black-and-white, the narration, basically everything), Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (Only two guards to kill Yoda? Come on! Anakin's going to the Dark Side seemed a little contrived to me, but I enjoyed the movie because the last few scenes were awesome!)

{ joycie at 9:16 p.m.}